This is our Privacy Notice. Hey, what makes you think there is any privacy on the Internet? Anyway, on to our show…
The Loyal Order of the 704, which operates this site, recognizes the earth-shattering importance of protecting the privacy of personally identifiable information collected about visitors to our site. We’re not sophisticated enough to automatically collect your personally identifiable information, such as your name, address or email address, hopes, wishes, disappointments, etc. Personally identifiable information about visitors, spies, snoops, etc. to our site is collected only when you knowingly and voluntarily submit it, or forget to block it (such as your fixed I.P. address). Remember, only you can hit the ENTER key! We may, and sometime do, collect certain non-personal information to “clog the log” (ours; not yours). That non-personal data may include the identity of your Internet browser (huh? You didn’t know your browser had an identity?), the type of operating system you use (we won’t tell Bill G. if it’s “something else”), and the domain name or I.P. address of your Internet service provider or your DSL or your T1 or your tin-cans-and-string connection. We may use such non-personal information for internal purposes, including but not limited to impressing the wife, kids, dog, etc. about how many visitors come to our site…Interestingly, exactly the same number of visitors who come to this site also end up leaving this site.
“We’d Like To Know A Little Bit About You For Our Files …”
In those instances when we do collect personally identifiable information, the following policies apply:
We’ll tell you when we are collecting personally identifiable information about you by asking for it. If we ask for your name, address, phone number, email address, shoe size, etc, you can be sure that that’s within the category of “personally identifiable information.” For example, we may ask to collect your personal information to snoop on you, how you use this site, whether you’re a member of any organization we support, etc.
Personally identifiable information that you voluntarily give, us or that we trick out of you, can (and may) be used for other purposes. Such other uses and purposes may include, but may not be limited to, telling your parents that you were visiting our site after your bedtime. The Loyal Order isn’t responsible for the privacy policies or practices (or lack thereof) of linked entities, opposing organizations, space aliens, etc.
The Loyal Order maintains virtually no realistic safeguards to ensure the security, integrity and privacy of personally identifiable information submitted to our site, and periodically wonders if there is any real security measures that can occur in light of (or in spite of) current and new technologies. Your thoughts on this will be appreciated.
Cookies are very tasty! We’re very fond of warm, gooey chocolate chip cookies. You?
Links to Third Party Sites.
You have been warned.