This is our Privacy Notice. Hey, what makes you think there is any privacy on the Internet? Anyway, on to our show…
By using this site, you agree to this Privacy Policy of the Loyal Order. In fact, you not only bind yourself (hummmmmm…), but also your entire family, your employer, your gas station attendant (remember when they really existed?!), and your livestock to this policy. Now and forever.
The Loyal Order of the 704, which operates this site, recognizes the earth-shattering importance of protecting the privacy of personally identifiable information collected about visitors to our site. We’re not sophisticated enough to automatically collect your personally identifiable information, such as your name, address or email address, hopes, wishes, disappointments, etc. Personally identifiable information about visitors, spies, snoops, etc. to our site is collected only when you knowingly and voluntarily submit it, or forget to block it (such as your fixed I.P. address). Remember, only you can hit the ENTER key! We may, and sometime do, collect certain non-personal information to “clog the log” (ours; not yours). That non-personal data may include the identity of your Internet browser (huh? You didn’t know your browser had an identity?), the type of operating system you use (we won’t tell Bill G. if it’s “something else”), and the domain name or I.P. address of your Internet service provider or your DSL or your T1 or your tin-cans-and-string connection. We may use such non-personal information for internal purposes, including but not limited to impressing the wife, kids, dog, etc. about how many visitors come to our site…Interestingly, exactly the same number of visitors who come to this site also end up leaving this site.
“We’d Like To Know A Little Bit About You For Our Files …”
In those instances when we do collect personally identifiable information, the following policies apply:
We’ll tell you when we are collecting personally identifiable information about you by asking for it. If we ask for your name, address, phone number, email address, shoe size, etc, you can be sure that that’s within the category of “personally identifiable information.” For example, we may ask to collect your personal information to snoop on you, how you use this site, whether you’re a member of any organization we support, etc.
Personally identifiable information that you voluntarily give, us or that we trick out of you, can (and may) be used for other purposes. Such other uses and purposes may include, but may not be limited to, telling your parents that you were visiting our site after your bedtime. The Loyal Order isn’t responsible for the privacy policies or practices (or lack thereof) of linked entities, opposing organizations, space aliens, etc.
The Loyal Order maintains virtually no realistic safeguards to ensure the security, integrity and privacy of personally identifiable information submitted to our site, and periodically wonders if there is any real security measures that can occur in light of (or in spite of) current and new technologies. Your thoughts on this will be appreciated.
Cookies.
Cookies are very tasty! We’re very fond of warm, gooey chocolate chip cookies. You?
If you don’t want information about you collected using cookies (hey, why do they call ‘um cookies?), there is an obscure and difficult-to-follow procedure in most web browsers to permit you to deny the cookie feature. We dare you to find it. But, why would anyone say, “No!” to a nice warm cookie? The Loyal Order may or may not use cookies at this site, and we assure that that if we are, you can bet that they’d be warm, gooey chocolate chip cookies, or small snippets of data.
Links to Third Party Sites.
The Loyal Order has or may established links from our site directly to sites operated by third parties. Why they party for the third time and we don’t is one of the great unanswered questions of our time. Visit them at your own pace (and risk). We’re not responsible for the content or practices of those linked web sites operated by others that have put up links to this site. If you decide to visit another site via a link, you should read their privacy policy and see if it’s any more truthful than this policy.
You have been warned.
If you do not agree to this Privacy Policy, please go away…quickly…before anymore of your privacy evaporates before your eyes. The Loyal Order reviews this Privacy Policy on a regular basis, not exceeding every few years between reviews, and reserves the right, at our sole discretion and without prior notice to you, your offspring, your dog, or anyone else, to add, modify, remove or color in any portions of this Policy at any time.